Sunday, May 1, 2016
Time sure goes by fast! It's now been a whole year since I've written anything. Life has been...well there's really not just one word to describe what the last year has been like.
1) Last March I got a promotion at work. I'm so thankful and pretty honored, but so far it has been the most difficult work adjustment I've ever had. I always enjoy a challenge, and this has certainly been one. Learning how to balance supervising co-workers, managing a couple hundred volunteers, leading the upgrade of two totally separate ministry tools, making decisions and offering input for the future of the ministry. Some days I feel as though I've grown in leaps and bounds, other days I feel like an utter failure. But through it all I have seen the faithfulness of God as well as the love and support of friends and co-workers.
2) Last April I moved into my own apartment after becoming debt free. I have loved having my own space and the ability to have friends and family over. In September my apartment was broken into and my television was stolen. It could have been a lot worse, I am thankful I wasn't home and that they didn't take any else. But the break in itself caused a feeling of vulnerability whenever I am home and for that reason it's been a bit frustrating. Your home is supposed to be your sanctuary away from the stress of life. It is not supposed to be a place of fear. So, now that my lease it up, I will be moving in just a couple weeks to an area of town that makes me feel more safe and up to the third floor where I will once again be able to throw open the windows and enjoy the sunshine.
3) In April of last year I also took my first trip, as an adult, to Boston, MA. I was born there so I've been in the past, but I hadn't seen the city since I was about 10 years old. The trip was amazing! We (my friend Melody and I) saw a Red Sox game in Fenway Park, a lifelong dream of mine come true! We walked the Freedom Trail and toured Old North Church and Paul Revere's house. We had lunch at Cheers and walked through Boston Common. We toured the grounds of Harvard and took a trolley tour. It was a whirlwind of 3 days, but one of the best trips of my life. (Many thanks to my Aunt and Uncle that let us stay with them for free!) Since we drove right through the state of MA to get there, I also got to show Melody where I grew up! Since I moved away from MA when I was 10, she's probably the only friend I have who I've been able to do the whole "this is where I lived, went to school, the playground where I fell off a slide and cut my forehead open"...you know the important memories. One item off my bucket list complete.
4) The best church I've ever been a part of fell apart. As tough as my new job has been, this development was the hardest thing I experienced in the last year. I didn't know that events that were totally out of my control could break my heart so completely. I've debated whether I should write about this, which is probably the real reason I haven't written in a year. But it is a significant marker in my life and so I mention it briefly because it fills my thoughts often. My previous posts have probably shown how important my church family has been to me. This church was really the first time I truly felt completely at home; with a church family that understood me and accepted me as I am, yet also challenged me to do things outside of my comfort zone so that I could grow. I learned how to step outside myself and serve others whether the homeless, those in drug/alcohol treatment, or those just coming out of human trafficking. I learned I could use my gifts, like singing, for more than just Sunday morning; that there are lots of ways to minister to people with music. As someone who often feels out of place in many social situations, at my church and with my church family, I felt completely okay being me. While I've stayed in touch with several people from my church since it dissolved in December, I already miss what was. While God could surprise me, I have a hard time believing I will ever find anything like it again. Usually I believe that the end of something brings us to even greater things. I'm still struggling to convince myself this is the case here. And while I'm talking a lot about myself since this blog is primarily about me, I am also heart broken for others who were impacted even more than me. I know I still have more to learn, I know God is not surprised my anything and has a great plan for me. I continue to pray about what that plan is.
That is the last year in a nutshell. Because I want this post to be short-ish, I didn't write about everything I've learned as a result of these events. But I will leave you with this.
God is good all the time. He has been with me throughout every up and down, and waits patiently for me in the moments I am a stubborn daughter and don't feel like talking to him. I may not know what His plan is for my future, but I do know He has one for me. I am stronger because He is my Lord and Savior. I have a purpose because He is my father and King. I am a daughter of the Most High God. In the ups and downs of life, this truth never changes. Do you know Him? Do you want to? If so, please visit PeacewithGod.net.
~The Real Me