Words Matter

Today is Valentine's Day. Surprisingly, it's been a good day. If you've known me for any length of time, you already know I've never been a fan of this "love" day. There are many ways you can "make lemonade" with this day as a single person; calling it "Gal-entine's Day", "Love Day", "Friend Day", etc...but none of that really ever works when you feel alone.

I promise this gets happy in a moment.

I am growing as a person...this year I wore pink instead of my usual black.

Seriously though...

I've had a relationship with Christ since I was 9 years old, and am secure in my relationship with Him. Not perfect, but secure. In the past, Valentine's Day has also been a day of guilt as others have told me if I was really strong in my faith, I wouldn't feel loneliness because I have God to fill that need. So, the guilt placed on me has actually compounded by distaste for the day.

Another year has gone by, and I'm still single, and this still is not my favorite day, but God gave me a little gift this year. Well, maybe a couple.

The first is a knowing in my spirit that my feeling are okay and that I don't have to feel guilty that my heart desires relationship. While I am content in my singleness (finally) and I am excited for my future whether I ever get married or not; I believe I was created to love and be loved. Feeling lonely sometimes or wanting to share my life with another human does not take away from my relationship with God. He created me to be who I am; and he created me to value true love and to desire genuine connection. I'm totally fine with taking just a little bit of time to eat (a lot of) chocolate and wallow just a little. As long as I get up tomorrow and know that God has a purpose for me and I move forward knowing that life is meant to be experienced no matter what part of the journey I am on.

The second gift was a bit subconscious until a co-worker pointed it out in connection to the day. I've been on a bit of a cleaning spree this last month. I finally hit a breaking point with the clutter in my work world. So I cleaned up my email box with the intention of beginning a new time/project management process (I'm optimistic it will work) and I'm cleaning out bins and drawers.

Today I got to the desk drawer where all the things that I no longer have room to display on my cubical walls go to rest. There are past pictures of family and friends, mementos from events I've been a part of, and encouragement notes I've received from co-workers or volunteers that I've worked with. Reading through these notes became the gift today. Love comes in many different ways. I am incredibly "lucky", if you believe in luck, to have met and become friends with some of the most amazing people through my job. I needed that reminder today. These are people that challenge me, encourage me, accept me, respect me, and they are people who are on this special journey of faith with me in ways not everyone would understand. What a special blessing. I have been at the same organization for 13 years, so I don't know what it's like other places, but if I took a poll, I bet I would find it is rare to be able to say that you are loved by your co-workers.

The most special note I found was from one of the volunteers I used to lead, it was dated 2013 (5 years ago). She chose to share with me some thought she wrote down after her very first day as a volunteer and what it meant to her to have been chosen to serve in ministry with us. The day she emailed it to me, she wrote me a note saying she was sharing this with me because she knows there will be days that are hard and days where it is easy to forget our purpose. I know that it was a relevant message on the day she sent it to me...and it remains relevant today, 5 years later.

If you don't think your words matter to people, or if you are questioning sending that encouragement to someone today, please don't let anything stop you. We all know that words have power and that the"sticks and stones" phrase is a joke. Choose to be someone who encourages others. Choose to be someone who is positive and loving. I am so thankful to the people in my life who have chosen to share notes, emails, and words of encouragement with me.

It may even bring light to someone on their least favorite holiday.